Who Says I Can't Bake?! Olive Oil Lemon Cake

If I have to sit through the election TV debate tonight, I want a good hunk of sweet cake to indulge in to keep my bulls**t detector levels alert and my mood levels chipper.

This recipe is filched from Mark Hix's version in the Independent, although I've made a few changes... It uses olive oil rather than butter, which is not only healthier, but adds a lightness and slight nuttiness that suits the lemon flavour really well. Plus I couldn't find any butter in the fridge...

My version used the following ingredients:

300g brown muscovado sugar

3 eggs

300g self-raising flour

Grated zest and juice of 1 orange

Grated zest of 1 unwaxed lemon

120ml extra-virgin olive oil

100ml milk

Pre-heat the oven to 180ºC/gas mark 5. Beat the sugar and eggs together until light and fluffy, which might not happen with the brown sugar, but as long as it's well amalgamated and smooth as a mixture, it's fine - use a food mixer if you prefer. Add the juice and zest of the orange and the lemon zest and then stir in the olive oil and milk, slowly, bit by bit. Gently fold in the flour and transfer to a lightly greased (you can use olive oil if you wish) round tin about 20-24 cms in diameter (you can use a square or a loaf tin of similar size). I used a Kugelhopf dish...

Bake for 40-45 minutes until golden brown, use a skewer to test if it's cooked all the way through.

I glazed my cake with a lemon glaze, using a random mix of icing sugar, lemon juice, milk and lemon zest. I made a thick paste with the icing sugar and lemon juice, then added a dash of milk and the zest at the end. Dust with icing sugar too if you're a sucker for icing like me.

Eric Lanlard - Gateaux pour gâter, cakes to spoil you!

Being unemployed, I have rediscovered the background drone of daytime television. On my third day of jobless drudgery, as the sound of Prime Minister's question time slowly dissolved into two couples arguing over which dilapidated Yorkshire cottage to buy, I tapped away at my keyboard, engrossed in application form filling.

That is until a familiar gentle gallic lilt drifted in over the airwaves, whispering sweet words like "calvados" and "tarte normande" and "slowly spoon ze creamy chocolate into ze hazelnut caramel mixture". My eyes diverted from my laptop for a brief second only to find themselves face to face with not only totally divine human creature in the form of Normandy Master Patissier Eric Lanlard, BUT he's totally divine tv chef totty who bakes luscious, unctuous, devilishly seductive cakes to boot. Good lord, daytime tv has really gone up in the world.

The show is called Glamour Puds and airs on Channel Four, Mon 2:25pm, Tues-Fri at 2:55pm.

A good tip I've learnt, aside from how to wear a chef's jacket and make it look like an Armani suit, or fondle a palette knife like a catalogue hand model, is that when making tarte aux pommes normande, you should flmabée the apples in calvados after slow cooking them in butter. A fundamental flaw in my existing recipe that I shall instantly rectify.

He runs a small patisserie and cafè by the name of Cake Boy, where Mads and Guy Ritchie have been known to purchase their bijou tortes from, as have other celebs and politicos. I promise to make an excursion to discover this haven of Gâteaux and Gorgeousness. Until then, I advise you to take a sick day, turn over to 4 and appreciate a handsome man getting his hands covered in whipped cream in the name of fine patisserie.

Cake Boy

Unit 2 Kingfisher House
Battersea Reach (Off York Rd.), London SW18 1TX
020 7978 5555

Leicester Arms Hotel, Penshurst SURREY

I usually visit the Leicester Arms on Boxing Day when villagers of Penshurst and the surrounding area flock under the awnings of this cosy country retreat clutching mulled wine and excitedly await the start of the Hunt.

I've always enjoyed my visits here, especially in winter where the log fires, squishy old arm chairs and wonky oak beams combine to create that oh-so-cherished country pub atmosphere you expect in a dainty, sparkling hamlet such as this. 

This is the first time I've actually had a three course meal here, in a large, airy restaurant at the back, traditionally furnished with large glass-paned windows giving over a view of the pub's pretty gardens and the valley below. 

The Sunday menu is pretty much meat-and-two veg, with few surprises and rather unimpressive vegetables. Portions are very generous however and the slow-roasted meats did fall off the bone in soft, satisfying chunks as well as being steeped in rich, homemade gravies. 

I made the mistake of ordering the crispy fried prawns with sweet chilli sauce, a daft choice considering our position (far from both the sea and a decent fishmonger). The prawns were watery and tasteless, the batter oozing oil and the sweet chilli sauce out of a Blue Dragon bottle.

Dad had the duck and orange patè, which although not made on the premises, was delicious, creamy and served with a thick red onion chutney and hot, crispy toast.

For mains, Dad had the roast beef, two rollicking great slices that hung over the edge of the plate glistening with gravy and an overly tough and crunchy yorkshire pud. Mum and I opted for slow-cooked lamb shank, mine was both slow cooked and over-cooked (I know, should be impossible), by which I mean that the edges had become gnarled, hardened and chewy, yet inside they were absolute perfection!

Roast potatoes were HUGE and soft, squidgy and oily. Carrots and beans watery and insipid. So far, not winning.

Then we got to the puddings! Hurrah for puds!

My Rich chocolate sponge with Bailey's and Belgian Chocolate sauce was light and fluffy with just a hint of gooey, rich interior and a thick, slightly honeyed sauce (the Bailey's I presume). 

Mum's Dark Chocolate pot was worth licking the plate for, silky smooth and not too much.

Dad's rasberry tart and custard went down a storm, and since he was unable to comment as he was too busy shovelling it into his mouth, one assumes it was as success!

Presentation was simple but elegant. Had I only come for dessert, I'd be happy as Larry! 

Drank a very scrumptious and fruity red Urrugunda from Chile too...

EMMA'S MINCE PIES (NO SUET)

'Tis the Christmas season, we've hung up our stockings, the tree is heaving with baubles and bells, so far no one has sneaked a naughty chocolate from the advent calendar... Anyone who knows me knows I'm a Christmas fantatic and usually start getting excited around mid-october. Rather pathetic I know, but at least it means by the time the season is upon us I'm already pre-prepared. Today it was the turn of the mince pies. Since I can't get them in Italy and I forgot to bring some over from my last visit to the UK, I thought I'd make my own - they'll taste better I'm sure! I didn't use suet because a) doesn't exist in Italy, b) totally lardy, c) the vegetarian suet doesn't do it for me...

I made a simple shortcrust pastry and left it in the fridge for an hour while I prepared the mince meat.

Shortcrust pastry:

Plain Flour - 110 g (4 oz)
Fat - 25 g (1 oz) lard & 25 g (1 oz) Butter
Water - 1 tablespoon cold water
A pinch of salt

rub the butter and flour together until it resembles fine breadcrumbs, then add the water and knead until you get a smooth, maleable dough.

There are endless recipes for mincemeat each as yummy as the other, but the basics as far as I'm concerned are: dried fruits, chopped nuts, lots of christmas spices and lashings of brandy. Here's my actual recipes, with human measurements...

three large cooking apples, peeled, cored and chopped up.
four handfuls of brown sugar, the softer the better.
handful of chopped almonds
two handfuls of chopped dried figs
zest of a large lemon
zest and juice of an orange
handful of chopped candied orange peel
two handfuls of raisins (or sultanas)
1 tsp cinnamon
1 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp crushed cloves
1/2 tsp nutmeg
5 tablespoons of brandy

YUM!

I started by cooking the apples in a pan with a handful of sugar and the crushed cloves. Once they were almost purée-like I took them off the heat. I added the chopped figs, chopped nuts and all the other ingredients and finally the brandy.

Then I let the whole lot sit for an hour whilst I rolled the dough and cut circles to make my pie shapes. I heated the oven to 200° (400 F, I think...).

Put your dough circles into your little tart moulds, fill each tart with about a tablespoon of mincemeat, cover with another circle of dough and press together to close the pie. You can cut shapes and top your pies with those as well if you're feeling creative, or make one HUGE mince pie with a lattice topping. As long as there's lashings of brandy in your mincemeat, you can't go wrong!
Bake for about 25 minutes, until they are golden brown and your kitchen smells like Santa's workshop, and VOILA! Mince pie a go-go!

Serve with brandy butter, clotted cream, runny cream, ice cream, icing sugar, whatever takes your fancy!