United Sandwiches of America

A while back on www.iknowagreatplace.com I did a list of top five Italian sandwiches... I'm now heading across the pond to the U.S of A, land I hold dear to my heart, to bring you exciting adventures in noshland and some great bread-cheese-meat-filling combos to get your nashers slobbering...

1. The Philly CHeese Steak, Philadelphia.

When in Philadelphia, head to Jim's Steaks at 4th and South Street and order a Philly Cheese Steak and cold beer.
What, pray, is a Philly Cheese Steak, you ask, eyebrows aquiver...?
My dears, it is but the most divine, sloppy, gooey, cheesy, meaty, greasy and calorific food wonder. The premise is this: get a good cut of steak, fry it, slather it with Cheez-Whizz (spray can orange gloop), melted Provolone or American cheese (that all-encompassing product of dubious origin) and stick the whole lot in the middle of a bread roll dripping with steak grease. Add pickles if you wish, or jalepeno peppers. I guarantee you orgasmic food heaven within minutes of narfing your first mouthful.

Jim's Steaks was my joint of preference, largely for the black and chrome 50's streamline deco and nifty neon lighting, but Philadelphians will fall over themselves to recommend any number of "The Original Philly Cheese Steak" house, including Pat's or Geno's.
Since the thing usually drips and oozes, people have perfected the "Philadelphia Lean", a tactical action which involves bending over your sandwich rather than bringing it to your mouth...
Eating a cheese steak... it's a science.

2. The Lox and Cream Cheese Bagel, New York City.

New York could merit a sandwich top ten of its own, but this is one of my favourite NY portable foodstuffs. There are many great places to sample this wonder of New York Jewish cuisine, the smoked salmon (Lox) and cream cheese bagel. Head to Katz's, where Sally famously yelled her orgasm to Harry in front of unsuspecting diners in the ultimate rom-com. You can sit in the movie-moment booth and indulge in some pretty spectacular bagels that may well have you hot under the collar.

Head to Coney Island or Little Odessa for some authentic smoked salmon from any number of the small Polish, Russian or Ukraianian delis. Head to Williamsborough in Brooklyn for a slice of Yiddishe Heimishe (good old fashioned home-comfort Jewish) bagels and rub shoulders with an historic Jewish community.

Then many rave about the offerings at Russ and Daughter's deli in SoHo. 179 East Houston Street New York, NY 10002. WHat a fantastic spread of smoked fish, caviar, and a huge slab of Gravadlax (where the term Lox is derived from) Salmon which they slice in front of you. Add some sour cream or cream cheese, red onion, capers and oodles of black pepper on a poppy seed bagel. THe variety and choice of salmons is incredible and the quality is fresh as fresh can be...

So don't be shmuck, schlep to Russ's, the staff are real mensches.

3. The Oyster Po'Boy, New Orleans.

For anyone thinking the the terms oyster and po' boy (poor boy) are mutually exclusive, think again. For many a long time, oysters were a staple food of Luoisiana workmen as they were bountiful and filling. THe key to a po'boy however, is the quality of the bread, a variant on the french baguette that should be crispy on the outside and very light, airy and fluffy on the inside, a reminder of the strong French presence and influence on Louisiana life and history.

A "dressed" oyster po'boy will be a bread sub filled with fried oysters, lettuce, tomatoe, mayonnaise and if you like, onions and pickles. SOme like hot creole mustard too, YUM YUM!

Head to the French Quarter of New Orleans for any number of po'boy shops and hunker down. If you're not keen on the fried oysters, try fried shrimp, soft shell crab or beef with gravy po'boys.

4. The Corn Dog, Texas.


Technically not a sandwich, but street food all the same... In fact, the corn dog is the quintessential State Fair food, conjuring up images of mullets, dodger cars, monster truck rallies and local rodeos in the sprawling midwest.

Essentially, the corn dog is a deep-fried, battered hot dog. Just what your arteries need before hitting a shooting range, mini-golf park or "the largest pumpkin" competition at any number of middle-America country fayres. Slather it with ketchup, mayo or American mustard (that sort-of-sweet yellow goo in a squeezy tube) and be sure to have a napkin ready for the dribbles!

I would dare say the corn-dog alone makes a detour to the midwest worth your while... And for the veggies out there, the Veggie dog does exist, but I'd ask for it quietly when surrounded by beefy cowboys with spurs on their feet, chewin' tobacco at the Minnesota Farmer's Rally.

5. The Lobster Roll, New England.

Oh lordy! Fresh shellfish REALLY rocks my boat and New England boasts slurpaliscious lobster, crab and shrimp - any combination of which usually gets me salivating and in need of a bib.

The rule of thumb as I see it is: Lobster in Maine. Clams in Massachusetts. Crab in New Hampshire.

The Lobster roll is simple enough, but if done right, contains all the necessary pzazz and shebang and holy-maloney to make all your seafood-y dreams come true. A pound of fresh fresh fresh lobster meat is steamed and diced, tossed with creamy mayonnaise and stuffed into a soft white roll with diced celery or spring onion and a squeeze of lemon. If you don't give a damn about calories and weight-loss, might I recommend a douse of melted butter over the top too!

As for the best place to eat Lobster roll, I sadly wouldn't know. Probably a best bet is to head down to the harbour and ask the lobster fishermen where they'd go.